Someone else's everyday

Way back in the before times, I decided to quit working my civil service job and go back to school to research Korean linguistics. More specifically, I studied pragmatics--how language is used in the everyday (Do you see the pattern? Honestly, I get stuck on things and they just show up everywhere, in different contexts. Boring, right?). It was one of those "not a risk taker except when I am kind of moments," especially because the decision was...umm...abrupt, and not obviously connected to anything I had done before. I blame 도깨비 (Goblin or Guardian: The Lonely and Great God). But the thing is, if you're going to study Korean linguistics, you kinda hafta know Korean. And I didn't. Not really. Obsessive Korean drama watching doesn't really count, right? When I went back to school (the year I turned 40!), my first class in that first year on that first day was Korean 101. Let me tell how complicated my feelings were that day!

But I was kind of lucky and at the end of my first year, in the summer of 2019, I got a scholarship to study Korean in Seoul for three months and since M is amazing, he agreed to be single dad for those three months so that I could adventure. That says so much about his character, you know? But I promise I won't get on that soapbox right now. Maybe later, though. No promises...

While I was in Seoul, I wrote about some of my everyday wanderings and figured I could twiddle around with those old stories and share them with you. And then of course that will give me a lovely chance to write about some of my more recent travel everydays. It's funny because I've had so many opportunities to follow my feet around the world and I fully recall the day I realized that a plane ticket was something you can buy. I was a woman grown already and let me tell you, it was quite the revelation. There is very little to compare to the feeling of being in someone else's everyday, but under the same starlight and the same sun. It still fills me with wonder and I think it probably always will.

So here is the first bit of that adventure in Seoul...with all of my terrible travel photos!

비행기 (AIRPLANE)
I boarded the Korean Airlines plane around 12:35 p.m. on a Sunday. Nervous, missing the boys, wondering what on earth I was doing with my life. Since my laptop was in the overhead bin and there was no way I was going to bring it out anyway, I wrote running thoughts on my phone so I wouldn't forget what I was thinking. And so...

12:59 p.m.
Just noticed we're running behind. That's alright. I'm still trying to get comfortable. Also, forgot to get socks from my backpack. Sigh. But I did get slippers and a toothbrush, along with water, a blanket, and headphones.

Listening hard to the Korean. I understand some. That's good, right?

Upside of the window seat – I get to look out of the window. I get to lean against it to sleep. Downside of the window seat – I have to bother people to go to the bathroom. (Incidentally, there is a reason I chose that particular seat, beyond that it was one of the few that was left. The seat number was 51K. It's because 51K is the name of the South Korean label owned by 소지섭 (So Ji-sub), one of my favorite actors. I fangirl in odd ways sometimes...)

1:59 p.m.
Well on my way. The guy next to me is completely passed out. He's wearing a UH t-shirt with a hole under the armpit. Pretty sure he's kama'aina and I wonder why he's going Seoul.

I've been reading The Book Thief by Markus Zusak for most of the flight. It's kept my attention. The girl in the aisle seat is also reading. The chapter she just started is called "Some of my best friends are Jewish." I thought that was funny given the book I'm reading and tried to covertly take a picture. But...I was too slow, and took a picture of a father sleeping with his daughter and her bunny instead. I'll have to look at that book's title and write it down at some point (yeah, I didn't).

It's kind of fun to see familiar cloud formations. It got me thinking about how weird traveling is. Wherever you are is here, but then here is so very far away from the here you were just at. And yet in my mind, the two heres are right next to each other, not ten hours and an ocean away. So weird.

2:13 p.m.
The flight attendants are coming with the in-flight meal. I wonder whether I should try to use the Korean I know or if I should just stick with English. I always feel like it looks like I'm showing off when I try to speak another language...like, "look what I know, aren't I cool?" Maybe if I could actually pull it off, I would be cool to myself. So I always hesitate. Too, I worry that if I start out in Korean, the other person will start speaking back to me in Korean and then I'll just freeze and stare blankly at them because guaranteed they are going to say something I don't understand and then I'm going to look stupid. Of course, all of this is fairly arrogant to begin with, because once I open my mouth, it will be obvious that I barely know what I'm doing. Sigh. Dilemmas.

2:42 p.m.

Lunch was tasty! And fancy! Metal utensils and a glass cup. Melamine bowls. That was pretty neat.

Oh, and I shouldn't have worried about which language to use. Hahahaha. The flight attendant spoke to the girl on the aisle in Korean. Of course there were no problems--she has a South Korea-issued passport. T-shirt man was still sleeping so she moved on to me:

Flight Attendant: Excuse me ma'am. We have three choices today. There's a popular Korean dish, bibimbap. Chicken and rice. And then we have, ah, beef and pasta. Which one would you like?
Me: I'll have the bibimbap, please.
Flight Attendant: (Pause. Confused look.)
Me: The bibimbap? Please? (Internally thinking, "Do I sound weird?")
Flight Attendant: The bibimbap?
Me: Yes, please.
Flight Attendant: Okay... Have you eaten it before?
Me: Yes.

There was more to the conversation, including clarification that coffee comes after the meal, but that was the gist of it. T-shirt man woke up (it's important at this point to note that he's Asian–Japanese. I found this out later) and the flight attendant started speaking to him in Korean, but (in response to a facial expression, I'm assuming) she quickly switched to English. Kama'aina status confirmed. He also had bibimbap. She did not ask if he had eaten it before. Incidentally, the girl on the aisle ate chicken and rice. The father across the way had the bibimbap.

Coffee just came. The flight attendant asked in Korean if we wanted any. I smiled and nodded. The plane engines are loud. She made eye contact and then asked me again in English. I smiled and nodded again. I should have just said "yes, please." At this point it became even more awkward because I was a beat too slow to realize that I was supposed to put my cup on the tray she was holding in front of t-shirt man's face. I'm sorry t-shirt man! After coffee, sugar, and cream were retrieved, I said "감사합니다!" because that and "네!" are the two Korean words that almost reflexively come out of my mouth. I think I was too loud. I worry this is going to become a recurrent theme. Can I say again that the plane engines are loud?

3:05 p.m.
It was pleasant drinking coffee and staring out the window, watching the clouds go by. Note to self, staring out the window and watching the clouds go by makes me think of the boys for some reason. My eyes started to water. Okay, okay, okay. Back to The Book Thief. Because surely reading a Death-narrated tale about a poor orphan in Nazi Germany in 1940 is bound to lead to dry eyes, right?

4:22 p.m.
We're all watching screens now. At some point after the random commercialism, there was an unspoken agreement among all of us passengers to put down the window shades and hang out in the dark. Not really sure why. The girl on the aisle is watching a drama on her laptop, but it's not one I recognize. T-shirt man is watching something called The Hateful Eight on his phone. At one point, the seat in front of him reclined, changing the angle of his phone. I think I saw a "Really?" face in his body language before he adjusted it. I'm watching Always Be My Maybe on my iPad (incredibly good movie, by the way--I totally recommend it).

It's kind of funny because when I'm on a plane, I always feel a kind of solidarity with the people in my row. Like we're a team or something. Team 51! Because, I don't know, we're kind of going through this long, shared experience together. That's weird, right? Well, we're a team in my mind girl on the aisle and t-shirt man. Let me know if you need Advil, because I've got ya!

Oh. And after the "감사합니다!" incident, I don't think the flight attendant knows what to do with me and t-shirt man. When she took the trays away, there were just half-smiles and polite nods all the way around between the three of us. There was none of this awkwardness with girl on the aisle. But who knows? Maybe I'm just reading in the dramatic. It's entirely possible...

5:43 p.m.
Stupid Always Be My Maybe. Good thing we're still hanging out in the dark. All I can think about is M and I'm having the quietest ugly cry I can manage. Kind of like that time I was watching 도깨비 in bed at three in the morning with all of my boys sleeping in the same room. And these stupid glasses. They're useless...

8:06 p.m.
About three more hours to this flight. I watched another movie that I found in the in-flight entertainment. 내한의 그놈 (The Dude in Me). I think that's probably an interesting translation. Perhaps by August I'll know for sure? I recognized many of the actors.

Still melancholy, though. I really miss the boys and the father and his daughter across the way are reminding me. I need to find a new movie, though the choices are rather limited. I'm kind of surprised actually. I knew I should have downloaded something else from Netflix... And brought snacks. I also forgot snacks. And I forgot to text my friend 지은 to tell her I got on the plane. 정말 미안해요! I've got to focus!

Oh! The cabin just lit up with mood lighting. Does this mean some kind of snack is coming? Perhaps distraction will work if focusing properly turns out to be futile.

I didn't write anything after this. Partly because as we were landing, t-shirt man and I started talking. He wasn't going to Seoul after all. Turns out he had a short layover on his way to Japan for work. He's going to move there for a three-year contract and this trip was his reconnaissance to set up. I don't really remember much of this conversation since I didn't write anything down, but I do remember it with warm feelings. T-shirt man was nice. I wish him well. I also noticed that this was the fastest disembarking I have ever experienced.

As I walked off of the plane, I could feel my heart beating faster. Seriously. What on earth had I gotten myself into? I don't take risks like this!