Tesni Who?
Little tidbits...
At 5', I'm short and delighted to be. Oldest girl of four girls and raising two boys--it's been an adventure. Working a full-time job and pursuing a doctorate in education. I adore merch and will immediately buy it to support my favorite creatives. Been playing Dungeons and Dragons for a long time, starting with AD&D 2nd edition. My husband and I met across an ocean, while playing World of Warcraft.
My cast of characters...
They are part of my everyday, so probably good that I let you know a bit about them, yeah? (And because I try to be responsible, please know that they've each read and approved these descriptions. Quotes are direct.)
M: Partner. Fellow nerd (plays far more video games than I and has an inexplicable love of the maths). Heckling is his love language, so good thing I have a sense of humor. Does budget-kine things at work and cooking-kine things at home (because he's awesome). Informs me that he doesn't need a quote.
L: Oldest son. High school. Nascent nerdling. Laser-focused on computer science, programming, and video game design. Enjoys magic, sleight of hand, and pithy wordplay. Definitely a performer. Describes himself as "the guy who will reinvent the wheel if it means I don't have to make that thing I don't want to make."
E: Youngest son. Middle school. A wanderer like me. He plays ukulele, guitar, and violin. Loves video games and the Detroit Lions. Leans into his joy and curiosity. Likes to look his best. When I asked him for a quote, he told me "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."
If your curiosity is satisfied, feel free to stop here. If you choose to venture (or frolic, your choice) below, it may get a little cringy... Or not. You could be my people. :)
Where my every days take me...
You know that line from "The Riddle of Strider" in The Lord of the Rings:
Not all those who wander are lost?
How about the line from Walt Whitman's "Song of Myself, 51":
Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
Yeah, smush these two thoughts up and that's about the sum of me. I've been restless my entire life and have been known, since high school, to be full of contradictions. (Weirdly, I actually have written proof of this.)
If you're curious, some of my wanderings have taken me from teaching ballroom dance to studying early modern English architecture and social theory, from drafting legislation to education administration and policy, from researching Korean linguistics and finally back to education to look into informal learning in digital gaming communities. It's all interesting and it all connects if you're willing twist your head a little and look at it out of the side of your eye...
My every days are messy and apparently, I'm okay with a little chaos.
Why subject myself to this uncomfortable proposition?
Well...
Either I've subconsciously trained my social media algorithm to show me what I want to believe is true or the Universe is trying to tell me something. Or both. Two (or more) things can be equally true at the same time. Either way, I choose to see magic in the pattern and here is what I saw:
BigB's video on acting on your good ideas...
Clarissa Pinkola Estes (Posted on the Queer Histories of Hawaii Instagram Account):
One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it.
Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country (seen most recently on Tom de Ville's Instagram account):
The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven's sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.
plantkween (Posted on Instagram):
You don't need a sign.
You need to decide.
We say we're waiting for clarity.
But sometimes, waiting is just fear dressed up in patience.
A soft stall. A quiet delay.
Hoping that something--anything--will come rescue us from the weight of choosing.
But the truth?
Most breakthroughs don't knock.
They're born in the moment you stop negotiating with your own power.
Every path forward begins the same way:
Not with certainty. Not with perfection.
But with a choice.
A trembling, gut-deep choice to move anyway.
You start listening to that quiet, persistent voice that says:
Now. Even if you're scared. Now.
Because waiting won't save you.
Only movement will.
Only trust will.
Only the decision to chose yourself, again and again, even when the path is blurry--especially then.
So start.
Not when it's easy.
But when it's time.
And dahling--it's time.
Maybe you'll see something in my mental meanderings that speaks to you the way these things spoke to me...